Here's What Happened
by bluedragon03
Summary: Inspired by Adrian Monk's famous catch phrase: "Here's what happened". Erik, Sorano, Richard, Macbeth, and Sawyer all have varying accounts of how they ended up getting kicked out of the student center at their college. College au. Request


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Here's What Happened- For Four

"I can't believe we got banned from the student center," Sorono said, "It's too cold to sit outside!"

"What do you mean you can't believe it?" Erik said, "It's totally your fault!"

"What are you insane? It's all your fault!"

"No way!"

"How do you figure?"

"Are you kidding me?" He asked, "Isn't it obvious?"

"Enlighten me," she challenged.

X x x

" _Are we just going to let Macbeth sleep in the floor?" Sawyer asked, looking vaguely concerned at the young man passed out in the floor of the student center._

" _I think if we let him get trampled on he'll learn his lesson," Erik said._

" _Lessons should be taught with love!" Richard interjected._

" _If he gets stepped on it's his own fault," Sorano commented._

" _You guys are awful," Sawyer said._

" _Hey, you can't sleep there!" Eyes turned to look at the security guard currently nudging Macbeth with his toe. He didn't so much as stir._

" _He looks like he's dead," one of them said._

" _That's because he is," Sorano said, nonchalantly. "I killed him."_

" _You_ what?"

" _They took that_ so _seriously," Sawyer commented, getting up to get a snack from the vending machine._

" _I murdered him." Sorano repeated._

 _They might not have believed her if he hadn't looked so dead. His head lolled to the side and there was no visible signs of breathing. Sorano and Erik rolled their eyes at the man who knelt to check his pulse, then raised their eyebrows as his eyes widened. His fingers were nowhere near Macbeth's pulse point._

" _He has no pulse!" Sorano barked a harsh laugh, Erik rolled his eyes._

" _She really did kill him!" The other security guard said._

" _Of course I did," she said sarcastically. The guards didn't catch on, though._

" _What do we do?" One of the guards asked. "Nothing like this has ever happened on campus before."_

 _Erik and Sorano sat in silence, marvelling in the stupidity of the men standing before them._ They can't seriously think that Sorano killed Macbeth, _Erik thought._

 _"You're going to have to come with us," the other guard said. In the exact moment Sorano and Erik exchanged an incredulous look Sawyer came sprinting from the kitchen, Nachos in hand, and ran smack into one of the guards, knocking him down. At that exact moment Richard laid eyes on some random boy with blue hair and a face tattoo and burst into tears._

" _I love your hair! And your tattoo! They were done in love!" Richard, who was about twice the size of this man, threw his arms around his neck and wept openly. Erik couldn't help but to feel badly for this poor boy, who looked terrified and confused._

" _Um, help?" He said to the security guards, who were busy yelling at Sawyer now for running. All the noise woke up Macbeth who sat up groggily and looked around, startling the security guard who had checked for his pulse._

" _He's alive!"_

" _Of course he's alive," Sorano snapped. "What kind of idiot doesn't know how to check a pulse?"_

 _x x x_

"That is _not_ what happened!" Sorano protested.

"That's exactly what happened," Erik said. " I didn't even do anything wrong and we all got kicked out because you confessed to murder!"

"Not true!"

"Oh yeah, then what happened?"

x

" _Where's Erik?" Sorano asked, looking around idly. Macbeth had fallen asleep and slid off the couch into the floor, but she didn't bother waking him up or trying to move him. He'd learn his lesson if he got stepped on._

" _He went outside a few minutes ago, but I don't know what he was doing."_

" _Maybe he fell in love!" Richard interjected. Just then Sorano spied Erik though the glass door, his face lit with enthusiasm, and in his hands…_

" _You know what, I think you might be right," Sorano said, pointing lazily as Erik opened the door with one hand, and a snake in the other._

" _There's something wrong with that man," Sawyer said._

" _I don't think snakes are allowed in the student center," Sorano told Erik as he came up, snake sliding through his fingers._

" _I'm also fairly certain about that," Richard said._

" _Shut up," Erik said. "They won't notice if you don't make a big deal about it!"_

" _Are you sure about that?" Sorano asked, pointing to the security guard who had just done a double take, and was looking horrified at Erik, who was talking quietly to it._

" _Um, son," the guard said, "you can't have that in here." Sorano had a moment's notice from the evil grin on Sawyer's face before all hell broke loose._

" _Snake!" He screamed. Immediately several shrill screams sounded with people jumping up into their chairs, others running from the exit. One of these people tipped over Macbeth's feet and fell face first onto the linoleum floor. A few more people tripped over them, all shouting at each other to "get offa me!"_

" _He's just doing what he loves!" Richard exclaimed, throwing his arms around the nearest person, a young man with blue hair and a face tattoo._

" _Ahhh!" He said as Richard no doubt crushed him. He was half Richard's size._

 _x x x_

"I did not!" Sawyer exclaimed.

"You did so!" Sorano countered.

"It does sound like the type of thing you'd do," Erik says.

"Well I definitely believe that you would bring a snake into the student center, but that's not what happened."

"Well then let's hear your version of events," Sorano replied.

x x x

" _I can't believe you are doing this!" Sorano shouted, her voice raising in pitch as her indignation grew. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with this outfit!"_

" _Um, ma'am you're breaking the school dress code in about seven ways."_

 _Erik was laughing so hard he was crying, and Sawyer almost couldn't hear what the guards were saying over the two of them._

" _I am_ not _! This outfit is completely appropriate!" The guard looked down at her clothes with his eyebrows raised._

" _I don't know which dress code you're talking about, but you're certainly breaking the one at this school."_

 _A boy with blue hair and a face tattoo walked by with his head lowered like he wanted desperately to get away from this noise without getting involved. The two women accompanying him looked highly entertained, but we following after him anyway. Much to the poor guy's ismay, Richard threw an arm around him and pulled him into what was likely a crushing hug._

" _She wears them out of love, you understand don't you sir?" The two girls the man was with were snickering behind their hands, while the purple haired one nudged Macbeth with her foot._

" _Umm…."_

x x x

"Oh that is _so_ not it!" Sorano protested, looking outraged. "And there _isn't_ anything wrong with my outfits." Erik scoffed. "Shut up Erik." She snapped.

"I don't remember any of this," Macbeth said, looking confused.

"That's because you were asleep," the rest replied together.

"What about you, Richard?" Macbeth asked, "everyone's saying you assaulted that guy."

"I did assault him," Richard said, "I merely declared my love for him!"

"You don't even know him."

"I love everyone!"

"...right" Macbeth said.

"Hey look!" Sorano exclaimed, pointing. Everyone followed her pointed finger, and five pairs of curious eyes landed on the blue haired boy from yesterday. "It's you!" She said.

"Hey, Jellal, isn't that the guy that assaulted you yesterday?" The purple haired one said.

"Go see what they want," the pink haired one said, nudging him forward.

"What…?" He asked, edging closer to them like she was approaching a dangerous animal.

"We're having an argument about what happened yesterday, how we got kicked out of the student center," Sorano said. "We need you to settle the tie."

"Um…"

"Do it, Jellal," the pink haired one said. He sighed.

"Fine. Here's what happened…"


End file.
